9/11/01: Memories from an eleven-year-old

Time is a funny thing. Eleven years can seem like a lifetime ago. I can’t tell you what my favorite TV show was 20 years ago or what kind of music I liked, or even who my best friend was. But I can still remember the morning of September 11, 2001 –exactly one year ago today –in vivid detail…

I remember being home sick, laying on the couch watching General Hospital. I remember being so mad that my mom changed the channel to the news instead, and I thought, “okay, a random building is on fire, what’s the big deal?” Being a naïve eleven-year-old, I figured it was some sort of accident and that firefighters would be there and everything would be fine.

Just as I was huffing in annoyance and leaving the room to go watch the basement TV, I heard my mom arguing with whoever was on the phone (my dad or my aunt I think), “No, it’s not the Pentagon, they’re showing the World Trade Center… What do you mean it’s the pentagon, I’m looking at it right here!” Then she changed to another channel and there was a completely different building on fire… I really still didn’t understand what was going on, but even at 11, I knew that two building being hit by planes at basically the same time couldn’t be a coincidence. My know-it-all, eleven-year-old self deduced there must be some sort of defect causing planes to malfunction.

So even though I knew exactly what was going on, I decided to make sure I was right so that I could say “I told you so.” So there I was, standing on the stairs, watching the basement tv on mute and standing on the stairs evesdropping on my mom’s conversation (like any good eleven-year-old would do), when I see another plane hit the other building! I honestly had no idea what was going on at this point, but I could tell that my mom was scared.

As the day went on, and I actually watched the news attentively for the first time in all my eleven years, I began to understand what was going on… As I watched the towers fall, I realized that even though the firemen and the ambulances were there, everything was not going to be okay. When I watched President Bush give his speech on T.V., I realized that this wasn’t some crazy accident where all the planes had malfunctioned at once; I began to understand that someone had done this on purpose.

I didn’t know a single person who was in New York that day. I didn’t know a single person who lost anyone that day. At the time, I didn’t know a single firefighter, police officer, or other emergency responder… But my world was still turned upside-down. For the first time in my life, I didn’t feel 100% safe. In books and history class, you hear about bad things happening to other people around the world, but you never think it can happen to you. In all the history lessons, the wars happened on the other side of the planet and America just sent soldiers over to help (and we always won.) For the first time in my life, I could suddenly relate to “Molly” from the American Girl books, who lived during WWII and they had blackouts and air raid drills at school all the time because “we are not invincible. Somebody might bomb us.”

Suddenly what had seemed so far from reality was actually happening right then and there. Suddenly every city in the country seemed like a terrorist target for some reason or another. Cincinnati has GE who makes aircraft engines for the military, therefore we are a target. Suddenly my eleven year old self no longer had the sense of safety and security I had always known.

Now, eleven years older and (hopefully) eleven years wiser, I know that I was never really safe, and that 9/11 simply made me understand that a bit earlier in life. Now, I remember the innocent victims of hatred and violence who lost their lives that day; I remember the brave men and women who gave their lives to try to help them; I think about the people who are grieving today in remembrance of lost loved ones; I pray for those fighting overseas to help sustain the sense of safety and security that today’s American eleven year olds still have.

Have you forgotten?

How it felt that day

To see your homeland under fire

And her people blown away

Have you forgotten?

When those towers fell

We had neighbors still inside

Going through a livin’ hell…

-Darryl Worley, “Have You Forgotten"

Sippin' on Sweet Tea

I still have yet to write a single post about my trip to Tuscaloosa, but that's mainly because there's just so much to say and so little time.  One of the highlights of the trip though, was the sweet tea.  Everywhere we went had the most delicious sweet tea.  According to one of the travel guides we found in our apartment, the best sweet tea in Tuscaloosa is at Taco Casa, so while we never ate at Taco Casa, a few people were lucky enough to get some of their sweet tea... it is amazing.

On Friday, after being back in Indiana and having no sweet tea for almost a whole week, I decided it was necessary to make some of my own.  Now, I don't mean to brag, but I make a pretty mean glass of iced tea.  Usually for the simplicity of it though, I either make it unsweet or I use splenda because I can mix it in faster and can mix it even after the tea is cooled down.  After a week of good ol' southern sweet tea though, I had to go for the real deal.

So worth it.

 There's somethin' about sweet tea that just feels like summertime.  It reminds me of hot summer days playing in the sprinkler in the back yard or having picnics.  A nice cold glass of sweet tea can take me back to eating on the back porch and playing cards with my friends on a hot summer evening; back to drawing pictures in the dirt and playing tether-ball; to swimming at the pool and playing keep-away with the beach ball... To concerts and campfires and staying up all night walking around the lake; to fishing all day and hangin' out in the barn all night.  It's funny how something as simple as a drink can bring back so many wonderful memories.




But most importantly, sweet tea is delicious.

Learning to be happy with just being me

Sometimes I see Facebook pictures and statuses of people I went to high school with who are all still great friends and hang out all the time.  I can remember a time that I wanted so badly to be part of that.  To be a member of that clique and to go to those parties.  And then I look at the life I have instead.  I am getting ready to graduate (and on time!), from a great school where I have met some truly amazing and wonderful people and made lifelong friends.  In my four years of college, not only have I gained an education, but I've also done something with my life.  I've made a difference in the community around me and in the lives of people I've met.  I've figured out who I am as a person and what's truly important to me.  I know what I want out of life and I know what I'm willing to do and what I'm not willing to do to get those things.  I've made friends who I can trust and count on to help me through anything life throws my way.  I've had the chance to visit Europe, and to spend an entire summer in California interning at a great company, making even more great friends and great memories.  I'm not perfect, and I've definitely made my share of mistakes, but I've learned from them, and they've made me the person I am today.  One thing that I'll never regret though, is choosing to be myself, even if it means I wasn't one of the "cool kids" back in high school.  I am proud of who I've become and I love my life!

On a somewhat unrelated note... ASB was awesome!  Experiences like this one are just one more reason why I'm so happy to be me!

Good things in life never come easy

If you've ever spent any time with me during a spring semester at BSU, you already know that February and March are generally ten times busier than the rest of the year for me... This year is no exception!

While I have backed off on some of the things that usually take over my life this time of year, there have been plenty of other things to take their place.  Aside from the fact that one of my professors is literally trying to kill our entire class, and I want to punch him on a daily basis, I've been pretty busy and stressed about non-school related things too.

One of my big stresses lately has been preparations for the Alternative Spring Break trip I will be going on.  I have been on one other ASB trip before, but was not on the Advisory Board at the time, so I pretty much showed up to orientation meetings once a week and then went on the trip and did volunteer work.  Since then, I have been on the Advisory Board for two Fall Break trips, but was unable to participate in last year's spring break, so this has been a new experience for me.  Planning an ASB trip is stressful.  Even when I'm not actively working on something for it, I've been worried about whether or not certain things were going to get taken care of in time or whether we were ever going to get our last fundraiser taken care of and whatnot.  As much as I absolutely love ASB, part of me has been thinking that I almost wish I were not on the Board for this trip so that I could just be along for the ride again and not have to worry about all these details.

And then I think, "Who am I kidding?"

At this point, I've been involved in SVS long enough and been on enough alternative breaks to know that I would probably be incapable of just being "along for the ride."  Inevitably, if I weren't on the Board, I would be just as stressed because I would want to be a part of things, but wouldn't have any authority to do so and would be completely out of the loop.  As much work as preparing for this trip has been, things finally started to come together last week, and I am fully confident that this trip is going to be amazing! 

One thing I am learning through all this is that sometimes the things we are passionate about are a lot of work.  You can't just wake up one day and say "I think I'll go to Alabama with 30 other amazing students from my school and do some Tornado cleanup" and get the same type of experience that you do when you have months of preparations behind it.  As the trip is getting closer, I am getting more and more excited about it, and I can already tell that the stress of the last few weeks is gonna be totally worth it. Someone's gotta make those preparations, so it might as well be me!

Finding people to love

As I prepare to go down to Tuscaloosa and do Tornado relief for Spring Break, I've been thinking a lot about my last ASB trip.  Thanks to Reba Reader, I will forever have a video reminder of that amazing week.  I encourage y'all to watch the video before you continue reading, even if you've already seen it.  

Here are my thoughts at this point:

• I am hopeful that we will meet someone awesome like Glenda again.
• I want to tear out a bathtub again or do something equally massive.
• I am very, very grateful that we are traveling by van this time instead of Greyhound bus, though a small part of me wishes that we were taking Greyhound this time too... It definitely had its ups and downs, but it was a once in a lifetime experience for sure!
• I wish Pete from One Mission was going to be there!
• I am once again blown away by how well we all worked as a team.  Despite our personal differences, we were all willing to help each other out and do whatever it took to get the job done.  I am hopeful that we can do the same on this trip!
• Finding those pictures made me cry... It was also a big part of what made this trip so meaningful for me.  I hope every person on the Tuscaloosa trip will have a moment like that.
• I wish Joey Marsh was coming with us again!
• People from Galveston = Galvestonians... I wonder what people from Tuscaloosa are called... Tuscaloosans perhaps? 

My goals for Tuscaloosa (in the words of Pete):

1. Grab the bull by the balls and run with it.
2. Work dang-it! 
3. Find people to love.

Y'all know that I am twitter challenged... (Let's be honest, I'm blog challenged too.)  But I will be attempting to tweet updates during my trip to keep you all informed... follow me @MarissaRae219  (is that how I'm supposed to write twitter stuff? lol)

Peace <3 Tuscaloosa!

Reflecting on One Mission Galveston 2010

In spring of 2010, I participated in an Alternative Spring Break (ASB) trip that changed my life.  Volunteering has been a big part of my life since long before I went on the trip, but a week of volunteering with my peers and working with The One Mission Initiative in Galveston, TX was unlike any other community service experience.

Why am I writing this nearly a year and a half later, you ask?

Today, I found out that this year we will be volunteering with One Mission again this year for Spring Break, this time in Tuscaloosa, Alabama.  My good friend Brandi (who also volunteered with me in Texas) and I were ecstatic!  This wonderful news got me thinking more about the last ASB trip I participated in, and I thought I'd share my experiences with y'all!  As I write this, I'm realizing that it's awful late at night, and my writing may not be the greatest, so I apologize, but I am very excited about this and want to share while I actually have the time to write!

We left campus on Friday evening after classes let out and headed down to Anderson, Indiana to catch a Greyhound bus to Galveston.  Traveling by Greyhound is far from glamorous, but I am so glad I had that part of the experience as well.  The long trip down south was a great opportunity that gave all of the trip participants a great chance to really get to know each other.  Even with all of the orientation meetings before the trip, I still didn't know the names of all of the other students going on the trip with me when we left Muncie, but by the time we got to Texas, not only did I know everyone's names, but I had already made a couple new friends.

New friends on the bus!

Once we arrived at One Mission: Galveston, the fun really started!  One Mission was headquartered at an old Elementary School, and that is where we stayed for the week.  We arrived on a Sunday afternoon, and after settling in at the school, we had a chance to walk down to the beach and relax for a couple hours before dinner.  Despite the fact that we were in Texas, the weather was a bit chilly, so no one went swimming, but it was awful nice to not be cooped up on a bus anymore!

Monday morning began with packing lunches and eating breakfast in the cafeteria.  Once we had eaten, we gathered some tools from the supply room and headed out to our site.  We would be spending the week cleaning out and gutting a house that had not been touched since Hurricane Ike in 2008.  Here are a couple "before" pictures of the house:

One of the bedrooms

This room also had a ceiling that collapsed.  The entire room was still  wet.

Throughout the week, we emptied all of the ruined furniture, toys, books, and everything else in the house into the back yard and into a dumpster.  We pulled out kitchen cabinets, knocked down rotted dry-wall, and tore out insulation.  We pulled out light fixtures and a water heater and a giant roll of sopping wet and disgusting carpet.  It took seven of us working together to pull out the bathtub, but we did it, and it was definitely a high point of the trip.  Never in a million years would I have thought that I could carry a bathtub out of a house.  But with a lot of hard work and all of us working together, we managed to disconnect it from the house (there were a few crowbars needed for that one!) and carry it out the front door!

For me, one of the most memorable moments of the trip was when I spotted some photos in a stack of things someone was carrying outside to the trash pile.  Another girl and I stopped and knelt in one of the rooms pulling apart the photos to see what we could save.  Many of them the images were completely gone, but a lot of the Polaroids were still pretty clear, and some of the others were salvageable.  Going through those photos was when it really hit me that we weren't just tearing down walls and pulling up floorboards; we were in someone's home.

When the staff member from One Mission first told us about the house, he told us that the family that lived there had evacuated before the storm hit and had not come back, but that a relative was responsible for the house and was the one with the key who let us into the house and everything.  Since we hadn't actually met the people we were helping, it hadn't really all come together for me until we found the photographs.  As I sorted through the photos, I couldn't help but think about all of the other destroyed object in the house that we had been throwing away.  How would I feel if all of my belongings were destroyed and had to be thrown away?  Did the family have time to gather their most precious belongings and take them with them?  How would it feel to not only lose my home and my belongings, but also to lose family photos and other irreplaceable things?  I couldn't imagine what it must have been like for all of the people in Galveston who had lost so much, but I was beginning to get a clearer picture.

But for me, the trip wasn't just about helping the people of Galveston.  It was also about the other students I was on the trip with.  We were in a small house, with sledgehammers and crowbars and nails sticking out of boards and rotting floorboards you could fall through in some places.  Before the trip, many of us were strangers, but once we were in the house working, we were constantly watching out for each other.  We learned quickly to communicate possible dangers to each other immediately so that no one would get hurt.

One student remembered from a past experience working in a restaurant to say "right behind you" when walking past someone carrying a tray of food, and suggested we do the same.  When carrying an armful of boards or something else heavy, sharp, etc., it could have ended very badly if someone turned around too quickly and didn't know that someone was behind them.  We were always making sure other people were taking breaks and drinking enough water.

Working in the house was a lot of fun too!  Not only because we got to swing sledgehammers and other awesome stuff (I got to kick down a door!), but we made everything fun!  One girl was carrying around a bucket for people to put nails in as they pulled them out of the studs, and we jokingly called her the "nail fairy."  When we were passing floorboards from the backyard over the fence to the front yard, we warned each other of nails by saying "watch out for tetanus!"  We even nicknamed the different types of nails as "double tetanus" and "army tetanus" to let each other know how many nails to watch out for or if they were hiding... by the end of the trip we joked that there were 17 different kinds of tetanus.

Did I mention we wore some awesome space suits?

We found some cabbage patch dolls!

The school we stayed at also had a playground!

Here's that awesome bathtub and the team that moved it!

In just four short days, we completely finished gutting the house, all the way down to just exterior walls, the studs, and subfloors...

Me "looking tough"

The finished house

If you are still reading this post, then WOW!  Kudos to you for making it this far!  As you can tell, I could probably go on forever just talking about that one amazing week, but for now, I think I'll wrap things up with a quote that I hope will encourage you to consider serving others.  If not by participating in an alternative break trip, then perhaps in some other area of your life.

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."  - Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie

I get by with a little help from my friends.

We all have different things that motivate us.  For some, just thinking about the fun things we can do after all our homework and everything else is done is motivation enough.  For others, going for a jog or working out helps put them in a productive mood.

If you know me at all, you know that I am pretty involved in Student Voluntary Services.  I love volunteering and helping people, and on the days that I volunteer I always feeling more productive when I get done.  I love volunteering on Saturday mornings especially, because it helps me get my butt out of bed in the first place, and then later I go home and actually get stuff done!

Usually the thing that I love about SVS and the thing that motivates me is the service itself.  But tonight, I'm grateful for the organization itself, for the friends I've made there, and the happy feeling I get just by being in that office.  I've been pretty busy and pretty stressed the past few days... Even tutoring yesterday didn't seem to cheer me up much; I'm not proud to say it, but I was so distracted and stressed about my own problems that I wasn't really giving my all to those kids.  Tonight we had our PC meeting for SVS, and while we didn't have the greatest attendance since spring break starts tomorrow, it was still great to see everyone.  After the meeting ended, I sat and talked with old friends, and even got to know someone I wasn't good friends with before.  I ended up staying at the office for a couple hours after the meeting ended, and I am so very glad that I did, even though I probably "should" have gone home to pack, clean, and do homework.  Spending time with those friends was just what I needed.  When I finally did get back to my apartment, I chatted briefly with my roommate, checked facebook quickly, then jumped right in and got started on all the things I've been putting off this week!

I think I know myself well enough to say that if I had come straight home from the meeting, I would have spent the entire evening here instead:

I guess what I'm getting at here is that it's all too often that we get so wrapped up in the deadlines and the projects and the meetings that we forget to take time for ourselves.  And yes, it's important to meet those deadlines and keep our commitments, but tonight my friends at SVS inadvertently reminded me that it's even more important to do what makes us happy.

Because after all, if we aren't happy, then what's the point?